Torn

So, this Friday I am going to have an endometrial ablation done. If you don't know what this is, it is where they burn the lining of your uterus and I won't have anymore or very short periods, this is a good thing! However, I am a little emotional about it because this is a definate that I can't have anymore kids. I have had a tubal but that doesn't mean I can't have kids and I could always do an infertility treatment called invitrofertilization. I know that it is very unlikely that we will have another child, but I am just not ready for it to be permanent. Friday is really going to be a hard emotional, long day! I just try to look at the brighter picture..........I will someday have nieces and more nephews or cousins to love and spoil, but I can send them home when they start driving my crazy! hint, hint, Josh and Jenny, Amber and Jordan. (:

Best TV Show Of All Time

OMG! I am so excited, I don't know where to start, but 90210 is coming back on...I know, I know.....my life used to revolve around this show! I can't wait for it to come back on. I know it won't be the same with new characters, but some of the old characters are coming back. I wonder if they will use the old theme song (as it goes through my head duna duna dun dun duna duna dun dun.......) This is going to be a great fall tv line up. I can't wait.

Dealing with an Ex

Ok, so I have been contemplating writing anything about my ex husband having a "friend" as he calls her and my girls having contact with her. I have so much anger still towards him that I don't think that he deserves anyone or anything. For those of you that don't know, I was married for 7 years to him and he had an affair with his boss. I also found a list of several escort phone numbers in the garage under his tools when I was packing to move out of the house. I am just appauled that he would even have the nerve to ask me if she can come with him to Katelyns birthday party Saturday at my house! OH NO HE DIDN'T! He then prompts to ask me if Katelyn can go with him over to his "friends" house on Thursday night and spend the night with him there and she will watch her on Friday......I have never met this lady......what is she is a child molester, or someone in her family is that visits, or lives by one, what if she does not watch her good and someone kidnaps her.....all of this is running through my head. In case ya'll are wondering where Ashleigh is, she doesn't like going over to her dad's house. I think Ashleigh has alot of issues with him, she remembers everything we went through when I was going through my divorce. I have always told my girls that if they get a stepmom that she will be like the stepmom in Cinderella, lol, I know ,I know, kind of mean. But, he brought all of this upon himself. Well I said Yes this lady could come Saturday to my house to Katelyn's party, but I am not looking forward to it. Why can't he just run away and never come back????? My life would be so much easier. Ok. I feel better now. Any suggestions???Any? I am at a loss!

Truly Blessed

I guess working for an OB/GYN you become numb to alot of things, sad things. People miscarrying, trying to empathize with them, when you truly can't. I have to say that when a woman is pregnant and they lose their baby when they are almost due, it is heart wrenching! I have worked in the OB/GYN field now for 10 years and this has only happened twice. Below is a link to another blog for a woman who lost her baby at 30 weeks, make sure to watch the video as well. It just breaks my heart to see this, maybe because I have 3 perfect, healthy, capable, loving, alive children and sometimes I question God, "Why couldn't you have done the same for them, What did they do to deserve this?". I know how truly blessed I am! I know after seeing the video and the blog that my life is forever changed. Please have kleenex ready, you will be crying by the end of the video and especially after reading her blog posts.

http://oursydneygrace.blogspot.com/ Here is one of her blogs. My heart sinking as I read it and tears starting to flow. I know this feeling because I have two daughters to buy those shoes for...

"i found the sweetest tiniest little plaid baby mary-jane shoes tonight at target. i would have bought them in a heartbeat for her to wear at easter. i even pondered the idea of buying them anyway..really, it actually crossed my mind and i picked them up to look at them..they were adorable. they were so me and my style and how i wanted to dress my little girl. not velvet or patent leather or fancy frills, but hippy-chic and a little tomboy. i was so excited, once to be able to start shopping for girly things instead of all the boring boy stuff that is offered to us moms. but now, well i looked at those shoes tonight like they had a "prohibited for Alyssa" tag on them. like i was not allowed to buy them. i had no one to buy them for anymore. i wasn't part of the girl "club" any longer....it felt like temptation. recovering alcoholics don't go to bars, why do i still go to target? i would have bought those shoes for you syd....your sweet feet would have looked precious in them. "

Cleaning the House

Can I just say that I hate cleaning the house! I dream of the day I can hire a maid to do the job for me! After going through all the drawers, closets, and cabinets in the house since Thursday, we have about 8 more crates of junk. Atleast 5 of them are from the girls room. I can't believe how much stuff I have accumulated over the past 2 years that we have been in our house. I did teach David to clean........lol, or atleast vacuum. He tries to be "Mommy's Little Helper". He is so darn cute, I just love him......You don't realize how much love you can have for your third child after you have given it all to your first and second, but you just do! Well enjoy the pics of him vacumming, he is so silly!

They Are My Life

Well, this is my first blog and I guess I will introduce myself to those who do not know me. My name is Melanie and I am married to Brian. We have three absolutely beautiful kids, two daughters and one son who constantly keep us going nonstop. Ashleigh is 8, Katelyn is 7, & David is 22 months old. I am truly blessed to have them as my children. They are all three always so happy and loving. Ashleigh will be in the third grade and she is already chasing boys (esp. Nick Jonas), loving all the fashion trends, and being very girly, even though she loves to play softball. Katelyn is my little monkey! When you ask her what her name is she says " Katelyn Lee Lam Monkey" and her nickname is "Banana". lol. She is such a character and just so laid back. You never kow what she is going to say. Now David is another story all together, he is 100% all boy! He just wears me out! He is the sweetest, most adorable little blue eyed monster you have ever met! Well this is just a little bit about my life, hopefully more to come.